As I go through the Bible reading. I have learned more about my human flesh and that’s when I didnt knew about Jesus. I always thought I’ve known what I ought to know. I always thought that all I know was enough that I really really know God..but that’s wrong.. I am really wrong..this episode is a breakthrough of my life knowing Jesus and getting closer to God daily..
I remember how stubborn I was when I was a teen. I thought I am young and that all things I see were just enough for me to know. That I wasn’t really interested in church becuase I thought that, well, I grew up with that. I go to church every sunday and thats enough.. And that I thought that God would understand why I wont have time with him. I thought all was just fine knowing there is a GOD to believe in and that there is Jesus that exists.. but I was worng.
When I have learned to meet God, I am already in my 20’s. It was then I became serious with reading bible and praying became my daily tradition. Eventually, I have learned every time I wake up, I wont go further with my responsibilities without praying and just talking to God. Just like saying good morning to a family member in a household.
And as I go through these chapter i Galatians, I have seen myself clearly whom I was then.. I remember then, I had a lot of excuses, I can find a lot of things to do to avoid going to churches and I can even use my situations to cope myself and join my so called ”friends” instead of praying and talking to God. I thought what I did was right. When I learned to know about God, I have started to do the mirror. I mirror myself and think of what have I done to make myself better and what have I caused my parents to make them cry. How I behaved was the tremendous thing for me to think about. I have been into drug addiction because my parents separated early, I didnt feel loved, got no attention, I have low slef-esteem and some friends or people dont like me really. I have been isolated and met wrong people on the way. I was working at early age but I am hanging out with the wrong people. Wrong influences..So even if the elders speak to me about the things I do..I did not listen..I have learned the hard way. I have been reflecting how I was then and it is very embarassing for me to go through them and speak about it. I feel very huge shame about it. But I feel no distress anymore in sharing it to you because I know, that every individual has a leak. And by the grace of our Lord Jesus, we learned from all of those we go through.
I have liked many stuff, that are worldly. I have liked going to disco, drinking and just hanging out with teens like me whom were lost. then I think…there were no changes in my life..
Sometimes..I would end up in an alley and just looking up abve the sky..trying to inspect the heavens and just keep staring as the stars are shining there..I keep on dreaming a life..a better life but as I look myself then…that was not the life I would ever wanted to keep..so daily,..I struggled..I stopped meeting and hanging out with people that has nothing to do with me..I stopped going to church who kept on judging and telling me I am a bad person..
Because I believe that to save someone from their transgression is indeed to speak their mistakes..but maybe not in a way that will destroy them..
And.then God is very gracious that Ive got the chance to travel abroad..so at 20’s I have decided to learn to know God…and all things started rolling…I promise you..when you Learned to know God..life will start rolling…
everything became difficult..which I know that I have been into difficulties in life before..but this time..it was more heavy to deal with… theres a lot of temptations to my flesh. I would go crazy to go shopping, spending too much money like it will never end. maybe I would like to be drinking but these I have tried to avoid.although some of the time..I fail. And the weariness in mind had come and tried to take me..and at times I lost myself..but I have known, God is moving then…God is tearing me apart from my flesh and cleaning my spirit first and cleaning my flesh..before God returned me to my ownself…
there goes a bible verse that says in Galatians..
Galatians Chapter 5
1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.
2 Behold, I Paul say unto you, that if ye be circumcised, Christ shall profit you nothing.
3 For I testify again to every man that is circumcised, that he is a debtor to do the whole law.
4 Christ is become of no effect unto you, whosoever of you are justified by the law; ye are fallen from grace.
5 For we through the Spirit wait for the hope of righteousness by faith.
6 For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love.
7 Ye did run well; who did hinder you that ye should not obey the truth?
8 This persuasion cometh not of him that calleth you.
9 A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.
10 I have confidence in you through the Lord, that ye will be none otherwise minded: but he that troubleth you shall bear his judgment, whosoever he be.
11 And I, brethren, if I yet preach circumcision, why do I yet suffer persecution? then is the offence of the cross ceased.
12 I would they were even cut off which trouble you.
13 For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
14 For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
15 But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.
16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.
and I have seen that I have been through a lot of the things that God do not want me to be. But because I am human, my flesh devour me strictly. And my Spirit is weak because I allow my flesh to follow what I want, what I feel.. there is nothing to follow what you feel and think, but there is a margin between things of right and wrong. and I can say that, I admit in the name of our Lord Jesus that I went through those works of the flesh… And I have cursed myself then and I did not follow what the Holy Spirit wanted me because I was much conformed to be part of the world. to be a part of the trendy lifestyle which is very a big mistake. It is not easy to follow God’s will though when you are not deciding to leave all the things that your body wants.. and then when I learned to follow God,I became very sensitive..it was a hard task..I have to close my eyes in my shopping illness, impulsive buying.I have to shut down myself in speaking bad words and lying tounge. I lied many times like when my father asks me if I go to school and I said yes but honestly I skipped my class.I lied to my teacher saying I am sick bt honestly, I just want to be home. I lied thousand times on different situations of my life and I admit those.. you see..when God says Circumcise it means cutting your flesh out of the things that are not good for you. and God did that to me..many times I can just throw myself up on things and follow the world just like a fool..but indeed I feel conscience. I feel my Spirit is speaking behind my mind when I am about to sleep and it keeps me awake that my heart is becoming restless thinking of all the horrible things I have doen the whole day. I repent. And I see the changes in me now. I see that I am growing spiritually. I know that reading the bible is the best thing to learn to know God. I might not be liked by all people…but surely I know, God loves me and in the hands of Jesus..I am dearly beloved child..and thats the thing I am trying to share to my children, my husband, to my family.. I am awakened and I see things clearly now..thanks be to God for not giving up on me.. I hope that you too will find your way to God and will not questions his ways..so you would get in to your hearts desires….